Brand New Eyes.

Dear You,

The last few days of Summer were the greatest, in fact they were so great that I didn't watch them go by. I had a good summer so far, a bit quiet but good.
I got mostly what i wanted from this Summer which were;
The Job, Rest & i've Experienced new things. Well we always experience new things but let's just say from my point of few, mine were a bit different. I got to know myself better; yes it might sound so lame. Get over it.

School started; finally!

It was exciting.

The classmates...well they look okay, i think?
One of them is really nice her name is Sarah. ^_^ I like it when i make new friends very easily.

I got to see last years' friends; it was a blast :D Same place, almost same clique so yeah!

Last but not least the external friends, HaHa! I mean the friends i've been with this summer, silly :P.

Audrey, which we're spending a lot more time together now, hopefully it will continue like that.
Luke, Paul, Glenn, jeez a lot more i can't think of them all! Oh and yeah last years' friends from my class.

It's really nice passing by the school hallways and wave, nod or stop to talk to some of your friends who are not in your class or you know them from somewhere.
Friends are nice and important. New friends are always welcome. =)

I think this is the sweetest note i've ever left on this blog, i mean by far...
am i right?
If not, oh well, correct me? :P

Take care dear friends & rest of the world.

xoxo
S.

No Regrets.

Why Hello there,

How are you? I hope you're feeling well as much as i do right now. Really.

The last couple of weeks have been a blast.
I've let go of myself; don't take it in the wrong way, actually it's a good thing.
I've let go of the things that made me feel miserable or insecure; now i feel like i'm in a boat in the middle of the ocean, floating, calm; at peace & rest.

Last night was amazing; it was probably one of the summer nights that i can remember right now in which i had no regrets in what i did. I didn't do anything special, i just felt normal, accepted and most importantly loved by my friends.
It was so wondeful seeing a couple of friends which i didn't see for months, thank you guys.

Thank you in all to all of the friends that bring me respect. =)

School is in like; 3 days. Wow. Can't wait actually. It's going to be a hell of a year for sure.
I'm looking forward to it and well; you never know what's going to happen. ;)

Well, What's the Problem?

Hello there,

I've been having such a blast these past few days and hopefully there's more to come.
I'm at my favourite spot. There's a beach over there; where that picture is taken, it's amazing. I don't know why i am so drawn to it, i just love it. In fact one of my dream date is over there. Haha. A walk down at the beach, dim lightning...Right. Let's move along...


Hush now, dearest one;
you know you like it here.
Knowing that you have all the power; freedom to climb all of the trees, jump up in the air.
You wish that the feeling doesn't feel too mutual.
At least you're feeling something instead of the numbness you constantly used to feel.
You're embracing your own company, you love it.
You always do when that happens.
Don't care about the others, they come and go. Just like always. comeandgo!comeandgo!
Why yes, of course, honey.

There is that lighthouse you go to every night.
Sit there quietly; not a single thought or a word comes out, nothing.
Just hearing the sea hitting the rocks.
Then you look up at the sky,
looks like the moon is talking to the stars, they shine brighter when they see you.
You smile softly at them.
Outside; right there it's a little bit chilly, you embrace yourself and you continue to look at the world around; at the future that is yet to come.

It's never over; remember that dearest one.

Silence.

Dear You,

I have no idea what to say. I'm loss for words and I think i lack the inspiration again.

Just so you know, i'm at peace with myself and with everything.
There is nothing left to say, i suppose.

I'm better off without you.

Just so you know; everything you see or hear; it's not always true.
Don't be a fool.

Looking forward to a lot of things....oh life. My life.

Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.

With Love,

xox S.

Perspective & Inspiration

For Three days i spent most of the time staring at it. I just love it. The sentence, the glittery stuff, Jesus's face; all of it.

That picture was part of the inspiration that i felt.

Ana & Jean; I loved, i really loved your worships. They were the best. You were the ones that really got me into the Spirit of the whole Conference as i felt His presence.

Who knows what's going to happen next?

All i ever want is to grow much more strongly into His presence as i know that he will never ever let me down, he's the only one that i know he can't ever betray me or replace me even though i could be doing that to him. But He's perfect & i'm not.

In my travels I have found that those who keep Heaven in view remain serene
and cheerful in the darkest day. If the glories of Heaven were more real to
us,
if we lived less for material things and more for things eternal and
spiritual,
we would be less easily disturbed by this present life.

Go ahead & Talk, Your Words Mean Nothing.

Just a few thoughts:

First of - Friday = the best night of Summer 2009...well for now, i'm sure there will be more days. =) Soon, i hope.

It started off with an 'OhMyTickTickHeartDead', i got up sick, missed a day of work, which i missed so badly. Yeah, i like my job.
But, i got better & better. Thank You, Lord.
You allowed me to have my fun for the night. =D
Joslyn & Darren's wedding was really amazing. Awesome food, great service at church, just everything about it was wonderful! Congrats to the very happily married couple ^_^!

Oh && yeah, I of all taken & single girls; got the bridal flowers.
It was my dream to get these flowers since i were a little girl. I've always wanted them so badly that (i think) when i was so innocent & young i'd fight with my cousins to get them. Hah!

So i guess it was my time to shine last night, i loved every minute of it. Thinking back, i still do and when i look at the flowers, i smile; that my cheeks start to hurt a little bit. Still, i know that it's not my time to settle down, yet. Jeez no, i'm only 18 years old!

Of course a relationship can be nice, but i can feel a little intimitaded by it. I don't want to be the girl who clings to a particular guy and just stay that way making up my mind 'forever'. I don't know if forever exists, if it does, it's awesome, i want to have that. But recently, could be today, i've come to terms with myself that 'crushes' are not really good for me. They let you down, you get your hopes up for nothing, most times. Well in my case, i could be very unlucky but who knows, hah! Crushes = Fun vs. No Fun. Their fun is their sensation, how you feel around 'that' one guy. But unfortunately, there's the not so fun side of it. Disappointment.

Don't get me wrong, please, it's just my idea. My ideas are a lot, i think that no one dares to matchmake me with someone because i can be a bit confusing. I just like to prevent myself from getting hurt & feeling dissapointed. I try to keep myself happy around the company that i'm with.

I try to keep in mind; God's Plan for me. Whatever it is, i am very sure that i will get what i deserve, good or bad. It's just that. I'll have my shinny moments, i'll have stuff. I know i won't be happy with what i have, after all, no human is ever happy with what they currently have. We all want more and more, nothing is never enough, nothing can satisfy us.

But God, i think for me God always satisfied me. Never failed. When i'm stupid enough and say he did, i regret it, always. When i step inside at church, i always feel accepted, loved and happy.

The three things i always want from life & everyone. It's just hard, but well, at least i get it from One Great Person. ;)

Rant's Over.

Goodnight.

xoxo S.

All Your Plans & Reveries

Dear you,

I just closed the door, pulled up my hair, stopped the music and started to focus on what I am going to tell you now.

It's been a while since I wrote in this blog that I really hold close to me. Everything you read in here is my life, my experiences; just everything.
I've been lacking inspiration as well as lacking the feeling to write, I’ve been pretty much apathetic.

Motivation is the key to success. Agreed. The things I wanted to do this summer I am doing them; not all of them but still. I’m getting there and I love every minute of it.

Just very happy with my outcomes and with what I have. I don’t want to complain anymore; been there, done that. Having my happiness is much more important than most things that exist in the world.

Xoxo S.

Remember the time when you clung to yourself, you prayed to get there, you prayed for it to be over. You cried and asked yourself, ‘why me?’ The things you said and didn’t mean them made you look pathetic and you know it. You hid them from yourself and from the rest just to look strong, well look how well that turned out for you, yeah? But…wait…look at yourself now. You smile in front of the mirror and believe; believe in the things that you started pulling away from. The forest has vanished, that empty house, the dreams you thought that were fading away; they were just starting before you even knew it.

God loves you enough to get you back onto your feet. I bet He was the one who tried to talk to you back there at the house, remember? Do you? Of course you do. Pain is hard to let go of and just forget. But you’re done now. The reflection of yourself that’s displayed on the mirror is true, you are smiling, and you look good. Keep it up, would you? For me?

You will, I trust you.
You never give up, you always aim higher.