2008.

Best Film Of 2008:- Twilight =D
Best Book Of 2008:- Uhm, I can't remember and surely i didn't read a book that came out this year.
Best Actor Of 2008:- Ed Westwick
Best Actress Of 2008:- Leighton Meester
Best Celebrity Of 2008:- Lindsay Lohan
Best Game Of 2008:- I don't really play games :/
Best Song Of 2008:- Anything by Panic at the disco.
Best Moment Of 2008:- YFC Camp :D November.
Best Band Of 2008:- Panic at the disco.
Best Singer Of 2008:- Brendon Urie (always and forever :P)
Best TV Show Of 2008:- Gossip Girl and Desperate Housewives
Best Piece Of News 2008:- I'm pregnant :O no wait...kidding haha, dunnooo.
Worst Film Of 2008:- Dunno :/
Worst Book Of 2008:- Blah same answer as the best book section.
Worst Celebrity Of 2008:- Amy Winehouse.
Worst Game Of 2008:- Don't play.
Worst Song Of 2008:- Ugh, some shitty English band....can't remember the name :S
Worst Moment Of 2008:- Around end of April....yeeeah.
Worst Band Of 2008:- Dunno, i don't really know of any sucky bands soo yeah.
Worst Tv Show Of 2008:- The Hills.
Worst Piece Of News 2008:- I'm pregnant! :O No wait...still kidding haha! Dunno.

Well let's just hope next year will be much better.
i kinda have a good feeling and these days my good or bad feelings are coming true.


Cross your fingers & hope for the best.


exx ooo exx ooo

Steph

PS: Happy New Year. 2009.....you're so near, i can see you. ;)

I..i...interesting.

Facts:


1.From last Saturday till this very moment a lot happened.
2. I really really dislike concited people.
3. ....yet, they will never bring me down, i will never let that happen.
4. I am part of a group called: The Teddies (LOL don't ask)
5. I love my wonderful friends. =) They're the best, not you.
6. I am in fact Winnie the teddy ^_^.
7. My new MP4 is freaking awesome.
8. I am cooler than you. =P
9. I can't wait for christmas eve.
10. Happy Christmas to you and to your family.
11. Some people really fail, big time!


PS: I find Twilight addicting....hence, i'm much more in love with vampires now.








Photoshoot this weekend, orly?

Who knows, anything can happen.

Keep on hoping, keep on waiting...

....Bliss.

1...2...3...ready? Pose for the camera,

and you official became a star.

Let the drama begin.

I don't need your pity...

...in fact i just hate your pity.

when everybody is against you...

...you're either wrong absolutely right.

I am nothing like a song.

Cause you could bend the truth...

...till it's suiting you.

Vous êtes un tel lâche.....

....Prouvez-moi mal, ne courez pas loin.

redhead.


exx ooo exxx ooo

goodbye.

Tsk, Tsk, Whoa. Stop.

You really have a nerve to lie to me like that.
Honestly, i don't care to whatever excuses you will come up with.
I don't want to listen.
I've already blocked my ears and blocked you away from me.
Sorry, but you're not a winner.

I always trust my high standards.

You honestly, didn't think i'm stupid? Ha.

exx ooo exx ooo
Steph.

PS: YFC Tonightt :D I love my friends :) <333

My Body Is Not Responding.

So, yesterday and today, i've been feeling like my body is not responding to my happy moods.

Honestly, i feel like crap right now, yet my feelings are *wiiii happy!*.

Okay, i feel sick so, what can i expect? I hate being sick, mostly, i hate being sick and looking forward to the weekend. But i am praying to God so that till Saturday i'll be okay.

I want to go to YFC and on Sunday i want to go christmas shopping :D :( Hrmp. I hope that it will be possible.!

Anyhows, i've been feeling the sudden change in myself, like totally and really. I like the way things are turning out. :)

Still, maybe i am still, waiting for that one little thing.

It might complete me, but who knows?

Only God knows when. :)

It's the Christmas season.....make a wish.
All i want for Christmas is.......? ;)

GoodbyeandGoodnight.

There is always some madness in love.

But there is also always some reason in madness.

Well all go a little mad once in a while, right?

xox steph.

Flash News: I am officially proud of myself.

So, in some past posts i was very angry at myself, at others and many other things.

Today, after this special weekend that i've had, i can say that all my anger and lonliness is so gone.

Why?

I went to this amazing live-in with my amazing friends from YFC (Youths For Christ).

Going to this live-in i've experienced Gods' love, how marvellous he is, how perfect he is, how i started to become happy as i was finding him, and also finding him in others. It was just amazingly perfect.I've also found a handful of friends on the way. :P

Everyone is just very supportive in this group. Just everyone. Katia, my leader. :) She was great, she helped me when i needed help, when i wanted a shoulder to cry on and mostly, when i wanted to talk to someone.

I am now a proud member of this group called YFC.
I've never been so proud of myself, actually i was more of a let down to myself in the past years.
I've truely changed into a better person.
I am Gods' girl. I am Chosen.

He called me and i replied with a simple 'yes' and i let him into my heart to protect me and love me and help me.

God is love.
Love is God.
God is happyness.
Happyness is God.

I now pray to God, for me to keep doing so well at this, being proud of myself that i let him into my heart and preach about him, also live a happy life.

I love you God.
Thank you.

Some pictures from the amazing live-in!

Anon.

There's always a brightside.

There's always the prons and cons.

There's always the good or the evil.

There's always everything or nothing.

There's always hope or hopeless.

There's always love or hate.

There's always happiness or sadness.

There's always the easy or the tough.

Your life is based on every choice you make every single day.

Do you ever feel like you want to be invisible? Or invincible? Desperate for attention or desperate to get away from everything and everyone?

-Wishful thinking.

Goodbye.

thesecret.

The Ones Who Are Mad To Live.

11:11. hello kitty. bookworm. science. sociology. music. late night movies. television series. daydream. faith. hope. psychology. Las Vegas. California. New York. LA. Brendon Urie. Panic at the disco. Eyeliner. Mascara. Blusher. Jewelry. Friends all over the country. Razia's Shadow. Punk. RedBull. Vodka. Malibu. Black. White. Violet. Purple. Vampires. Texting. Chatting. Browsing. Proving you wrong. Challangening. Smiling. Fashion. Retro. Vintage. Smart boys who dress in suits. Hugs. Neck kissing. Single. Love is overrated for now. Happy. Independent. Quiet. Shy at first. Joy. Sensitivity. Spiderman. Badges. Bags. E!News. MTV. Myspace. Modelling. Cuddling. Promises. Promise rings and keychains. Cupcakes. Chocolates. Kinder. Sunsets. Cold weather. Paris. English. Litertature. Poetry. Photography. Graphics. Picture Editing. HTML. Quotes. The 20's. MP4. Hair. Hairdye. Hairspray. Very Forgetful. Kind. Sleepyhead. Moody. Panic. Nervous. Curious. Amused easily. Blessed. Loves Attention.

This is me.

Flash News: I Am Drowning.

All I ever wanted is to be at peace.
I'm struggling, forcing myself to make you proud.
I wonder, i wonder when will be the day where i'll tell you, 'i can't do this anymore.'
Famous last words.

This is hard. Hard to let go and hard to achieve.
I am going to do my best. Oh yes, i promise. I'll try.

And you, stop distracting me before i will tell myself once again, 'I am drowning.'
Then i'll toodle to bed and cry myself to sleep, watching my life falling into pieces and the dreams i once had will start to fade away. Why? Because i wasn't strong enough to save myself and believe in myself.

Dear God, I need help.
I need to stop making mistakes and focus.

idontwanttoloseit.

Ta.
x

Just a Note.

Bid goodbye to the better part of daylight. I felt the come on coming on alright of unfaithful rays, of sad displays of independence. I've not been drinking; I've been worrying the floorboards with wandering weight with fits of figure eights. I'm only barely young; I'm old enough to repeat the same mistakes. I am all other hands those other times each anyway and then. I am so sad to say, like yesterday, a do you remember when - I am pretending otherwise lacking appeal. You never really learned to fake well what you don't feel.


I've done small things that i'm not proud of. Just remember though; i'm better than you and you know it.

Where The City Meets The Sea.

I'm quite surpised how things are turning out.
Sometimes i miss the very old days. But i can't really complain right now.
I have some awesome best friends :D

Also..

i've been seeing green.

Give me something to believe.

Cause I am living just to breathe.

I swear i never meant for this.

The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!”

Oh it's been so long.

Summer is gone, bye bye summer. I won't miss you.
...i'm lying. I will miss some parts of you.
I'm going to miss the days i spent sleeping till ten o'clock in the morning.
& sleeping late, at like three o'clock in the moring, i'm still going to sleep.
Hanging out to random places with my friends, especially the beach or the pool.

I won't miss the heat. Oh no. I hate it.
I'm ready to welcome Winter :)
I love winter <3.

Yep. yep. I do.

School started. Work started again. School, Hah. I'm not going into that yet.

I just want everything to be different.

I like change, sometimes it's good.

I hate routines, i like being different.

Let's just have the time of our lives.
<3

This is recent;

You Asked For It.

Everyone is a let down.
Depends on how far they go.

All is a lie.
Lies, lies, lies.

All wear a mask to hide whoever they are.
Truth is, they don't know either.

Uninspired. Undecided.

Trust is a big thing and as time goes by it's getting even harder for me to trust.

Nobody loves you.

Cut.Cut.Cut.


thesecret.
themission.

I do things i am not proud of.
Failure is the best option.
Getaway.

Lover i don't have to Love.

You are the least of my problems.

ashotofsteph is dead.

alongtimeagoweusedtobefriends.
ididntmissyouatall.

I just can't stop listening to The Academy Is...

4 days till my bday! xD

I had a nice day today, with some friends :)

thanks guys.

i don't know if you'll see this but yeah...

I saw some baby pictures today.

Hahah, i was so cute. I wish i was still a baby. Everyone loves you when you're a baby.
You'll get most of the attention. Anything.

I've been spacing out a lot lately.
I'm thinking way too much that today i thought my head was going to explode.
I feel really tired, i nearly fell asleep on the bus back home today and i did fall alseep while i was doing my math [o level] homework.
I don't have to do this...i just do.
Pathetic me, i know.
Maybe i just need to talk to somebody and really trust.

List of songs that i've been listening everyday;

Down and Out - The Academy Is...
Skeptics And True Believers - The Academy Is...
Bulls in Brooklyn - The Academy Is...
Seed - The Academy Is...
It Ends Tonight - The All-American Rejects.
Mad World - Donnie Darko.
Northern Downpour - Panic at the Disco.
The Piano knows something i don't know - Panic at the Disco.
Boys and Girls - The Subways.
Eleanor Rigby - The Beatles.
Time to Pretend - MGMT.
Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner - Fall Out Boy.
Gil Sleeping - The Horrors.
Gloves - The Horrors.
She is the new thing - The Horrors.


Wow...list.

I want to go to a beach for my birthday.....but let's just say i so doubt that.

Time flies...it won't wait for us...no it won't.

So, i was looking at some old stuff i used to have on the internet...
hah wow...it was crazy, i was crazy...i guess..O_o
I wasn't afraid to speak my mind. I said whatever i had to say.
Those were the good old days.

My 17th birthday is in like...8 days....5th May.
Pretty much, my birthday is a big deal for me. I guess it's the only day that i feel noticed and completly loved. I could be wrong...but it's what i feel.
I hope nothing and no one would fuck up this day. It is important. I like this event.

I don't know what i want this birthday... O_o
last year my mum gave me a surpise and i went to England. It was amazing.
This year....i don't know... -shrug- oh well!
Whatever happens, happens i suppose.

Till then,
i'll keep watching The O.C
Haha oh yeah i'm being obsessed with it right now o.o
I love Seth Cohen, he's such a nerd, it's soo cute xD
I'll also open my photo albums...

....oh this week is going to be just interesting.
gotta stay focused (:.

Bye!

Humans break their promises.

Why hello there, it's been long i know.

Blogging now.

I've been smiling.


and i've been...



...me.

I like too many things and get all confused and hung up running from one falling star to another till I drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anyone except my own confusion.

Secret Love And The Fastest Way To Loneliness.

We're solemn pretty, dressing with all of the town
All, all the town
Turns out I can give what you wanted
Escape from the pain
But that's already made

i live in the numbness now, in the background.

Take me away. I beg you. It's no good.

I hope that you will understand.

Let them lose it.

Once upon a time, or maybe twice.

Hello. Me again.

I like too many things and get all confused and hung up running from one falling star to another till I drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anyone except my own confusion.
and, i'm on vacation until further notice.

onlynotreally.

The only thing i'm really looking forward to happen in my life at the moment.

Panic at the Disco - 25th March 2008.
<3

--Now she goes and dies in bed.

When there's nothing to burn, set yourself on fire.

Note:
Everything you observe isn't really everything about me.

Later. xox.

Today......sucked.

++++++

Facts about me.

i love photography.
i love googling random photography.
Jac Vanek is my idol.
After her, Hanna Beth.
Panic at the disco are the best band ever.
After them comes: Paramore, The Horrors, Cobra Starship, The Academy Is..., Daft Punk and the list continues.
i love cookies and cupcakes.
i have a thing for buttons, eg. computer keys and mobile buttons. not the clothes buttons.
i can get pretty serious at times.
i tend to be insecure sometimes.
i dream a lot.
I like too many things and get all confused and hung up running from one falling star to another till I drop.
i listen to more than 100 songs every day. too much? not to much?
i don't like msn but i love myspace.
my mum is my best friend.
i don't trust anyone. give me a reason if you want me to trust you.
Shit happens. Lyke Z0mG!
i want to be a photographer.
i want to be a web developer.
i hate conceit bitches.
i am single and i like it.
i'm a little scared of being committed to someone.
i don't complain much.
i love doing stuff on my own.
i love thinking on my own.
Ready to face me?
i don't bite seriously.
i'll be your fucking puppet. (:

Ayy Kiddos, Hello.

So i guess i decided to create this blog thing for several reasons. One of my reasons is that on myspace, hi5, buzznet or any of that type of websites are not good enough to post blogs or whatever you call them.

This blog crap is going to be my rambling of the day/month/year. Haha i don't know how often i'm going to keep this updated but if it will be a success i guess i will update it more often.
O_o rambling started? guess so.

Do not read but observe.

Words could mean anything. Words are words. No one can change words. Don't try, you'll fail. Everything that goes out of that little/big thing that is found below your nose means everything. I'm dying to meet someone who is mute, no, i'm so not against them or anything. I'm just curious how they cope with their everyday life.

I guess if you're a quiet person, writing is your best way to vent. Congratulations.

You crave for attention yet you want to stay hidden, how can such thing happen?

You want friends, you starve for them yet you want to be alone, what the hell is wrong with you?

You're desperate, depressed and any other bad word that describes how awful a person can be, why?

You ask yourself what's there missing. You think that those are just rhetorical questions and you go like, "oh well, fuck it." You're totally wrong. You have to force yourself to get the answers. Stop being pathetic and get to work. No one is going to help you, everyone is bitch. Grow up. Open your fucking mind.