Just a few thoughts:
First of - Friday = the best night of Summer 2009...well for now, i'm sure there will be more days. =) Soon, i hope.
It started off with an 'OhMyTickTickHeartDead', i got up sick, missed a day of work, which i missed so badly. Yeah, i like my job.
But, i got better & better. Thank You, Lord.
You allowed me to have my fun for the night. =D
Joslyn & Darren's wedding was really amazing. Awesome food, great service at church, just everything about it was wonderful! Congrats to the very happily married couple ^_^!
Oh && yeah, I of all taken & single girls; got the bridal flowers.
It was my dream to get these flowers since i were a little girl. I've always wanted them so badly that (i think) when i was so innocent & young i'd fight with my cousins to get them. Hah!
So i guess it was my time to shine last night, i loved every minute of it. Thinking back, i still do and when i look at the flowers, i smile; that my cheeks start to hurt a little bit. Still, i know that it's not my time to settle down, yet. Jeez no, i'm only 18 years old!
Of course a relationship can be nice, but i can feel a little intimitaded by it. I don't want to be the girl who clings to a particular guy and just stay that way making up my mind 'forever'. I don't know if forever exists, if it does, it's awesome, i want to have that. But recently, could be today, i've come to terms with myself that 'crushes' are not really good for me. They let you down, you get your hopes up for nothing, most times. Well in my case, i could be very unlucky but who knows, hah! Crushes = Fun vs. No Fun. Their fun is their sensation, how you feel around 'that' one guy. But unfortunately, there's the not so fun side of it. Disappointment.
Don't get me wrong, please, it's just my idea. My ideas are a lot, i think that no one dares to matchmake me with someone because i can be a bit confusing. I just like to prevent myself from getting hurt & feeling dissapointed. I try to keep myself happy around the company that i'm with.
I try to keep in mind; God's Plan for me. Whatever it is, i am very sure that i will get what i deserve, good or bad. It's just that. I'll have my shinny moments, i'll have stuff. I know i won't be happy with what i have, after all, no human is ever happy with what they currently have. We all want more and more, nothing is never enough, nothing can satisfy us.
But God, i think for me God always satisfied me. Never failed. When i'm stupid enough and say he did, i regret it, always. When i step inside at church, i always feel accepted, loved and happy.
The three things i always want from life & everyone. It's just hard, but well, at least i get it from One Great Person. ;)
Rant's Over.
Goodnight.
xoxo S.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
What am I supposed to say?
Interesting thought.. you know, you posted here.
You really know you love someone when all you want is for them to be happy, even if that means that you are not a part of it.
I'll tell you a little "secret" I haven't told anyone before..
Everynight, when I'm lyin' in bed
I remember all the little glances, all the smiles and everything he said to me.
People telling me "go ahead make you first step", or "tell him, so he'll know you're interested" And I'm like- "me..tell him? Nooo, never!" I laugh at myself sometimes.. for believing all those fairytales I used to read or watch, and I still do. As you wrote, you can get hurt..of course, you can also get hurt just by going out, that second you step out of your door, you stumble upon the stairs and if I continue I never stop mentioning all the things you can get hurt with. Well I guess nobody "loves" being hurt, nobody does.
It might be just a crush, that will simply fade by time, it might not.
And then, I realize God is there for everyone, for me. He sure does know what he's doing and who knows..my time will come. Eventually.
Post a Comment