The Control.

Have you ever felt that you're always seem about to lose control?
When sometimes you fail and you will, you say you won't do it again, you regret it then you just can't understand.

Fall in love or fall in hate.
Get inspired or be depressed.
Ace a text or flunk a class.
Make babies or make art.
Speak the truth or lie and cheat.
Dance on tables or sit in the corner.
Life is divine chaos. Embrace it.
Forgive yourself. Breathe.
And enjoy the ride…

The ride is not always fun. You can't just embrace it.

I love my fantasy world more than anything, it's the only thing that doesn't do me harm or make me look pathetic.

The Outsider.

There comes a time where you start to think about your life all over, if there would be anything you would ever change.You'll start to think that this is so stupid to think about, yet you still do. Always bearing in your mind. Am i doing the right thing? Is this all wrong? Can't i just go back to when i was... Then you snap out of your day dream and be like, impossible. The happy times are gone. You're in the numbness now, the left one out, now.
Hey, hey, don't give up. Hold on, love.There will come a time when you'll get back on your feet again and you'll smile. That wicked smile of yours, that says; This is where i truely belong.

My heart is filled with love for...

...Music! :D

So i discovered a new band called VersaEmerge.
Well, think about Paramore, but well, they're not the same obviously!

They're amazing :D

Past Praying For is one of the best songs i love right now.

ooh and i got my Panic at the disco, Live in Chicago DVD! :D:D
Thanks mother for the best birthday present ever! <3

To share my joy :P;

I've been way too happy.

I've been really me.

I've forgotten all about my past as i am now, happy in the future.

There comes a time in life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama & surround yourself with people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad and focus solely on the good. After all, life is too short to be anything but happy.

You can say anything about me
As you please…
But I am what I am
And that’s something,
That you can never be.

The Strong.

No matter how alone you feel, you need to be strong.
No matter how depressed you feel, you need to be strong.

No matter how frustrated you feel, you need to be strong.

No matter how happy you feel, you need to be strong.

Anything you do you have to do it because you're strong.

Don't let yourself to become weak.

Things will get worse.

We are all sinners, we're past that.

If you fall or fail once, make sure that next time you wouldn't.

Being Strong is the key for everything.

The impossible is somehow always possible.

On a great note;

I'm getting the 'Panic at the disco Live in Chicago' DVD =D

So stroked!

Question of the day: How do you feel right at this very moment?

My answer: Just Good. =) God works in amazing ways. Don't let him find you, go out and find him yourself. If you wait, you'll get nothing.

Insomnia is taking over.

I will not fight for you.
I will not forgive you.
I will always win over you.

I am not afraid of being alone. Never ever.
People come along in my life for a reason.
They also leave for a reason.
People come and go.

I will do things that I am proud of.

Love is not forever. But for just a long period of time.
We all die alone, in the end.

My Shit.

I have a twitter! :D

http://twitter.com/bambarella

Anyone can follow me, of course you have to have a twitter account too :P

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www.myspace.combambarella

Myspace :D

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http://ict.mcast.edu.mt/ictweb/stepabel/PersonalWebsite/

Website :D

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http://xxstephymadnessxx.hi5.com

Hi5 :D

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No Title.

All of this is disappearing before your eyes, before you even know it.
You can’t really find a way to explain yourself; you’re just feeling sick, tired and lost.

Imagine yourself in the woods, long trees, harsh branches, lions, or any frightful creature that can exist…and you’re running, running and never looking back, trying to forget but the pain is too deep.

Then you find a house, you knock but you get no reply, you realize that the door is open so you step inside, still feeling lost and frightened. Then you realize you’re finally not alone and there is someone there for you. You’re still afraid of asking for their help, just because you can’t trust anyone. Not this stranger, not a soul. When they talk to you, all you try to do is block them out so you won’t let them in. They can’t understand and you can’t either. You start to think again, how when you trusted you got hurt. You get angrier and you keep on blocking them no matter how much alone this makes you feel. You’re kidding yourself by saying to yourself that you’re going to be alright and I don’t need anyone to save me, I am strong. You remember when things were different. One day. That’s why in stories they start with a ‘Once upon a time…’ just because it’s only once, not twice or more. You’re always asking these questions and you’re still tired. You run away again, from the house, from the person. Then you close your eyes and you wish this is all a dream but it’s not. It’s real. Everything you see is real. You just want the pain and sadness to go away. You pray to God but now you are always doubt him. Something is very wrong. Very.

Stop. Stop. Stop! You’re feeling small now. You are thinking that God is there with you but you’re not sure. Yes, yes, he is, right? Maybe? And you ramble and ask him, ‘Why?’

You know that someone said that you are the problem. You’re thinking that it is right. You’ll change but it’s not easy, right? Then you’re thinking that it’s their fault too. For making you like this. The experiences you had faced made you this. No. No. No. You curl up by yourself, still hiding behind a huge tree. You’re itching, dirty, the beauty is washed away all of a sudden and you’re just feeling empty.

Wait. There’s more.

You still know that there’s hope. Deep down. You know that things will change for the better, maybe, right? You know you have to stop running away from the things you will someday love, eventually. But you’re too damn difficult. Damn it.

‘Just stop thinking about the bad things for a little while and hope for the better.’

Just when you said that precious sentence you wake up from the trauma and find yourself in your bed. How did this happen? No really, I have to stop asking questions and do something. Stop worrying, stop feeling insecure. Just stop it.

The fairytales you used to have were never real but this was. All the dreams you had, they're just dreams. A dream is a dream. There has to be a miracle for a dream to come true. Dreams are silly but they're fun, right?

Only time will tell.